Letting go...

As easy as it to fall in love, is it that easy to let go? I wonder..

I am having a hard time in letting go. It has been some time, and I am wondering why I am not over it. Perhaps it is because he is a crush after such a long time. A lot of people would say that I set a standard that is too high, but wanting a guy whom will appreciate me as whom I am, liking my smartness and yet can lead in the conversation, a guy whom is okay with me staying at home all day just because I wanna study and have lots more to complete, listen to my little babbling about how much more to go and tell me 'you can do it'. Is that a too high standard? *wonders*

I thought I could have let it go easily because all in all he is just a crush. I had even seen a part of him which I think I can never accept those kind of selfishness. Thus, I chose to walked off, but why it hurts now? What game is my heart playing with me? Is like the brain knows it all but the heard just ain't listening. Ouch!

But I am determined right now. Locked away our messages, cleared my whatsapps, and certainly no more on reading news of him and his new girlfriend on my wall. I walked off to sit else where in the class and no more looking at him from far, if possible no more talking too. Very drastic, indeed. But, if a short break can quickly allow me to face him back, I don't see the reason why not. Perhaps this is also a way for me to wish them happiness. No other girls would want a girl being super-duper-good friend with their boyfriend right?