It is getting more awkward. Why now of all times that we would have to work together?! I am so tired of working with him, seeing his face.
I don't know why, don't ask me. I hate it when he comes near me, I hate is so much to even be in the same room with him. I know I am evil, but to a certain extend I felt so happy when I get to run away from him. Haha!
I don't know what and where went wrong, but something is certainly off. I don't understand myself either. I switched place instead of sitting with him, I walked off instead of sitting in the same car with him. I really don't like it whenever he is near me. Is it because that he took the money too easily? Is it because he caused me to wait for 45 minutes or is it because of him getting late to work? Hmm... Wondering.. Thinking.. Nope.. Nothing came out. But, what I know is I don't wanna be near him!
Monday, 21 April 2014
Monday, 10 March 2014
Prayer from Heart
As the clock ticking, it feels as if there is less and less hope in them.
More and more tensions, tears and anger.
It is because no one knows what is going on. Where has the plane gone? The more you read, it feels like the lesser hopes they have.
What is making things worst is that some thick skulled, insensitive people whom is linking everything to politics and race. I am wondering, why can't they felt the sadness in others, those whom might have lost their loved ones without a proper goodbye.
I just hope that they would come back soon. The nation is waiting for you. We are waiting for you. Come back.
More and more tensions, tears and anger.
It is because no one knows what is going on. Where has the plane gone? The more you read, it feels like the lesser hopes they have.
What is making things worst is that some thick skulled, insensitive people whom is linking everything to politics and race. I am wondering, why can't they felt the sadness in others, those whom might have lost their loved ones without a proper goodbye.
I just hope that they would come back soon. The nation is waiting for you. We are waiting for you. Come back.
Monday, 3 March 2014
Count your Blessings
Some people lose the rights to fight for their dreams because it is already too big to be acheived, too high to be grabbed, too much for them.
Some people lose the feelings to leave as their burden is too heavy, life is just too long for them.
Some people lose the reason to love as it betrays them, it is too hurtful to continue.
A lot of us would be complaining why is it so hard, why is our life so difficult... But sometimes, I think what you need to heal is not your life but it is your spirit. Sit down and flash back. You would realize you have so much more than others.
Looking at a lot of people around me, today I only felt, I am glad that my road is written this way :)
I have a healthy body. I can fight for my dreams. I can strive for it. I can complain yet the next day I would still wake up and fight for my dream. I can work till late night, wake up early just because I believe I can!
But, realising there are people that had already lost the chance of doing so. Even, to take a step ahead, they would have to consider so much, because they know there might be a chance that their body can never take it, and what they risk would be their life.
We take a lot of things for granted. But, don't! Because there are a lot of people whom wish they can turn back the sand of time for all the things that they had lost now. They once dreamt big, yet now they can only hope they will always be healthy.
Be grateful. Because there is a lot of people out there couldn't do what you are doing right now. Be it dreaming, eating and drinking the things you like or the courage to love.
Some people lose the feelings to leave as their burden is too heavy, life is just too long for them.
Some people lose the reason to love as it betrays them, it is too hurtful to continue.
A lot of us would be complaining why is it so hard, why is our life so difficult... But sometimes, I think what you need to heal is not your life but it is your spirit. Sit down and flash back. You would realize you have so much more than others.
Looking at a lot of people around me, today I only felt, I am glad that my road is written this way :)
I have a healthy body. I can fight for my dreams. I can strive for it. I can complain yet the next day I would still wake up and fight for my dream. I can work till late night, wake up early just because I believe I can!
But, realising there are people that had already lost the chance of doing so. Even, to take a step ahead, they would have to consider so much, because they know there might be a chance that their body can never take it, and what they risk would be their life.
We take a lot of things for granted. But, don't! Because there are a lot of people whom wish they can turn back the sand of time for all the things that they had lost now. They once dreamt big, yet now they can only hope they will always be healthy.
Be grateful. Because there is a lot of people out there couldn't do what you are doing right now. Be it dreaming, eating and drinking the things you like or the courage to love.
Saturday, 8 February 2014
Come Home Love
I was watching this drama in the middle of my studies to release stress. Haha! A 20 minutes series that is full of laughter. But, today, I had learnt a very important lesson from it too.
There is a character Richard whom dated an older woman, Har Jie. Here, in the story, they temporarily stayed together. But, Har Jie, did not want his son (whom is currently in America with his father, her ex-husbamd) to know about Richard's existence, went to the dumping area just to video chat with him. Richard then found out about it. He decides to move out. But the main this is what he said, 'Sometimes, we cared too much about winning or losing the game of love, thinking too much about whom is making the decision. But, I think I had won this time, by having a woman whom never thought about it when she is with me".
I think what he says is so true. We always put love as a game, or some of us were never serious about it before, but to begin with it isn't a game. There is no winning or losing when you truly love each others because all that doesn't matter anymore. I hope one day I can and will find a man whom will never thought about it.
Well, enough of dramas. Pens off and time to start my war with notes again!
There is a character Richard whom dated an older woman, Har Jie. Here, in the story, they temporarily stayed together. But, Har Jie, did not want his son (whom is currently in America with his father, her ex-husbamd) to know about Richard's existence, went to the dumping area just to video chat with him. Richard then found out about it. He decides to move out. But the main this is what he said, 'Sometimes, we cared too much about winning or losing the game of love, thinking too much about whom is making the decision. But, I think I had won this time, by having a woman whom never thought about it when she is with me".
I think what he says is so true. We always put love as a game, or some of us were never serious about it before, but to begin with it isn't a game. There is no winning or losing when you truly love each others because all that doesn't matter anymore. I hope one day I can and will find a man whom will never thought about it.
Well, enough of dramas. Pens off and time to start my war with notes again!
Saturday, 25 January 2014
Finding myself
Finding myself, I think it is one of the greatest challenge that a lot of people are facing. But, this year, this time, I will make it different. I am determined to shine, to be myself. I am not gonna walk in anyone's shadow. I am gonna be myself. Be it transperant, be it that no one see or care for me, but I will work hard! I won't give up.
I might not be the brightest diamond, but I am in the journey of becoming one! I don't need people to recognize my success because I am ticking off the check list of my own life.
Working the things I want, soon working in the company in dream of, what else I can ask for? I will work hard for my journey, not for recognition. This is my greatest resolution this year. Be myself! Love myself a little more!
To a lot of people that thinks that I am very confident, thank you. It is a hard journey searching for it! But, I will continue to brush up myself! All of us is a diamond, but you have to polish yourself to make it sparkle. If, you don't then you will never shine!
I might not be the brightest diamond, but I am in the journey of becoming one! I don't need people to recognize my success because I am ticking off the check list of my own life.
Working the things I want, soon working in the company in dream of, what else I can ask for? I will work hard for my journey, not for recognition. This is my greatest resolution this year. Be myself! Love myself a little more!
To a lot of people that thinks that I am very confident, thank you. It is a hard journey searching for it! But, I will continue to brush up myself! All of us is a diamond, but you have to polish yourself to make it sparkle. If, you don't then you will never shine!
Monday, 20 January 2014
Worries of a Middle Child
Maybe a lot of us would be facing the same trouble, but at this time of the year, is the time where I lose most of my confidence. I really hate the fact that I have two super smart and capable sister, adding to it, another smart and capable cousin whom achieved all I can before me, and a better brother after me.
Being the middle child in the family, I am always lacked of attention. I am not as sociable as my eldest sister, I am never as smart as my second sister, never as pretty as my cousin. All of them is making me slowly life in the family without getting notice.
I superly hate when it is nearing Chinese New Year and we would have to go back for reunion, because it is the time I felt least exist. I never liked crowd, I love the quiet and easy world, but this is when the crowd would come and compare. Whenever the topic comes to me, be it a good result, or a change in my look, no one cares. When I had gotten a good result, it doesn't matter any more, my sisters and cousin had achieved what I am achieving and it is normal for me to be able to do it. No matter how good I am trying to look good, it doesn't matter, they had already looked that before or even better. No matter what, it feels like I am always living in their shadow, behind their back!
Everything that I did is taken for granted, just because they had achieved it earlier than I do. I tried so hard. I ensure that I do better than them no matter how hard it is. I participated in prefectorial board, first aid team to national level, two busiest and most looking forward board in our school. I wanna prove I am better! I exist! But no one ever care or wanna care. Then, now in University, I tried my best to maintain my result, I tried my best in club stuff. Again, wanting to prove that I am better but still no one would ever care. Sometimes, I wonder why am I even trying?! No one would really mind, because all of it is just something normal should be achieved. Just because I have better sisters whom did it before...
Being the middle child in the family, I am always lacked of attention. I am not as sociable as my eldest sister, I am never as smart as my second sister, never as pretty as my cousin. All of them is making me slowly life in the family without getting notice.
I superly hate when it is nearing Chinese New Year and we would have to go back for reunion, because it is the time I felt least exist. I never liked crowd, I love the quiet and easy world, but this is when the crowd would come and compare. Whenever the topic comes to me, be it a good result, or a change in my look, no one cares. When I had gotten a good result, it doesn't matter any more, my sisters and cousin had achieved what I am achieving and it is normal for me to be able to do it. No matter how good I am trying to look good, it doesn't matter, they had already looked that before or even better. No matter what, it feels like I am always living in their shadow, behind their back!
Everything that I did is taken for granted, just because they had achieved it earlier than I do. I tried so hard. I ensure that I do better than them no matter how hard it is. I participated in prefectorial board, first aid team to national level, two busiest and most looking forward board in our school. I wanna prove I am better! I exist! But no one ever care or wanna care. Then, now in University, I tried my best to maintain my result, I tried my best in club stuff. Again, wanting to prove that I am better but still no one would ever care. Sometimes, I wonder why am I even trying?! No one would really mind, because all of it is just something normal should be achieved. Just because I have better sisters whom did it before...
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